A few rectangular Formica tables leading up to a small display case, manilla walls bare but for a slice-shaped clock which declared it to be “pizza time.” A group of twenty-somethings were seated at a table, focused on a television hanging above. A music video was playing, featuring a blond Hispanic child rapping about sunshine. It was absurdly optimistic and the twenty-somethings were engrossed in the trainwreck. Stupid is funny in any language.
As you near the western outskirts of Cuenca, the failing and occasionally absent sidewalks reaffirm the notion that this is indeed a city, but it’s decidedly different than anything back home. A quarter-mile from the mid-level apartment buildings of our block, the mountains suddenly loom larger and the dense houses give way to larger haciendas with massive gardens. Livestock lounges in the shade, woodsmoke permeates the air, and the proud crow of roosters echoes in the alleys. The sidewalks eventually disappear completely, and grass grows wild and thick in the mountain breeze.
We doubled back to experience the museum from its entrance. A throne was exhibited near the doorway, the crest of its backrest punctuated by miniature skulls. A doll of a baby lay beneath a grate in a coffin-shaped opening in the floor. There was a guillotine, two bone chandeliers, a number of statues contorted with pained expressions. It was like if the witch who tried to eat Hansel and Gretel made folk art.
We don’t aim to waste your time with grammatically questionable negativity; we’ll leave that to the “Elite” Yelper, that paragon of oxymorons. These spots all have the Two by Tour seal of approval. We hope this list encourages you to take your own trip, try something new, or just support hard-working businesses that are doing everything right.
The guest is not always right. Coworkers are not always safe people to be around. Taking a joke is very different from being violated. Everyone in the industry has to be willing to take a long hard look in the mirror and work at pulling us out of the muck and the mire we’ve all taken for granted. It’s not something that’s up for negotiation. We can do better, and we will.