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CategoryTRAVEL

The holiday market in Plaza El Otorongo, Cuenca, Ecuador

AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE A JESÚS PARTY

Ecuadorians’ adoration of fairs and festivals is only surpassed by their devotion to Catholicism. Subscribing to the Catholic credo that there ain’t no party like a Jesús birthday party, these passions intersect in a three-month celebration around the Christmas holiday that exceeds the birthday week excesses of the most self-indulgent sorority girl. Cuenca is the heart of these festivities, upstaging the larger cities of Quito and Guayaquil to draw people from all across the Andes.

El Batán in Cuenca, Ecuador

SOUTHERN AMERICAN HOSPITALITY

The kitchen is a no-fly zone, where space to craft a punch or charcuterie spread has to be carefully usurped at the margins of the vast empire. The best time to sneak in is when my father is updating his tabulation of butter used thus far. A true student of the tradition of Julia Child, he delights in giving us a painfully honest breakdown of precisely how the sausage was made, as waistlines strain against belts. The only time I had ever missed my family’s Thanksgiving before was to share a Turducken with a friend who was stranded and alone under house arrest. Now, thousands of miles from Cleveland in Ecuador, the reality of the glamorous traveler’s life came with a complimentary jar of maraschino cherries.

DESTINATION: HOMETOWN; MAKING THE MOST OF STAYING WITH FAMILY

There may be moments where it’s up to you to offer a counterpoint to crass generalizations and cultural falsehoods. That obnoxious Uncle in the MAGA hat who keeps suggesting Latin American countries are dangerous (whilst never having traveled beyond the tri-state area) is wrong. You’re well within your rights to let him know how wrong he is. Diminishing an entire group of people based on cultural differences is, to put it lightly, fucking bullshit. But do it gently and respectfully. Remember that we’re all human beings working towards similar goals. Far from being polar opposites, most of us are reasonable people, occupying some spot in the middle ground of the human experience.

A portrait of LL Cool J at the National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C.

MUSEUM GUIDES: THE NATIONAL PORTRAIT GALLERY

The Obamas’ portraits had been unveiled a few months prior to our visit to D.C., so we were excited to make a pilgrimage. While the museum was busy, the galleries are large and numerous. After a day of walking, we cut some rooms short, skipping some parts entirely. Portraiture is lovely, but once you’ve seen one old, dead white man, you’ve generally got the gist of it.

2×4 FROM TWO BY TOUR: BRYCE CANYON NATIONAL PARK

Bryce Canyon National Park is quite possibly one of the most gorgeous misnomers on the planet. The park’s namesake, Bryce Canyon, is notably only half a canyon. The concave cliff face winds down to the valley below while towering hoodoos bear witness to Gran Escalante.